ALASKA ….T – 14 DAYS

I don’t know too many people who announce their plans to run away.  However, in exactly 14 days we are doing just that, running away to ALASKA….THE LAST FRONTIER  (at least for a little while).
As a couple, we have talked about and dreamed about this day for so long.  The reality of it coming to pass is really awe-inspiring.   We look forward to sharing bits and pieces of our journey with you (via this blog) in both pictures and writing.   We invite you to join in our adventure, follow along, and maybe, just maybe, be inspired too.                    
                                                                                                                  CRYSTAL


“To the lover of wilderness, Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world”. John Muir

THE SUMMER I WROTE LETTERS

THE SUMMER I WROTE LETTERS 

              AT&T’s famous slogan, “Reach out and touch someone”  first aired in the spring of 1979.

Now, almost 40 years later, with a new slogan, “mobilizing your world”,  communication and connecting has become so constant, even instant, through social media and advancing technology that  “reaching out and touching someone” is often taken for granted.   Very rarely anymore does it involve a “telephone” (not to be confused with a “cell phone”) and the decline in handwritten mail via the United States Postal Service is greatly measurable.  

So,  when my son took a wilderness living, summer camp job 2.5 hours away from home that promised  no cell phone use except on his 1 day off every 2 weeks (and sketchy reception & signal strength at best),  I settled into the discipline of writing letters. 
At first it was strange, and even challenging.  It required waiting!  Who waits anymore?  It required patience!  Patience hardly seems a virtue in 21st century America.   Each and every letter  required individual attention, quiet contemplation, creativity, information and most importantly……….
a sense of expression, a satisfaction, and even a surrender, that only gets tapped when convenience is stripped away.     
      

They say “receiving handwritten letters” (or typed in some cases)  is one of life’s simple joys.  I find that to be true, and given Matt’s feedback, I’m pretty sure he finds it to be true too.  

Interestingly, science has linked expressive (letter) writing to better moods, reduced stress and an overall improved sense of well being.  In as much as social media connects us and technology advances our potential for learning and communicating, so a summer of writing letters has become a great conduit to give me pause, not to let convenience overshadow some of the deeper, richer attributes and gifts that might  otherwise be missed in the clamor of the instant and the hurry. 

When I’d much prefer face to face or voice to voice conversation but realize it isn’t an option, slowing down and taking time to connect in a way that says I really care becomes priority.  In the process of digging deep, I learn new things about myself,  I find a quiet inner strength and beauty that wasn’t recognized before.  

I will always be a great utilizer of technology and am extremely grateful for its many benefits. But for today, I am thankful for the summer I wrote letters.  I hope for each one of you reading this, you too have a summer of “writing letters” somewhere along the way, that you too would be more intentional about reaching out and touching someone through the lines on a page and resourcing and rediscovering the potential of deep personal growth and satisfaction that comes,
for it isn’t only in the receiving, but also in the writing of those letters that life’s simple joys are rediscovered.  
crystal
  

WALK IN LOVE

Being married to a pastor, often  means that daily conversation revolves around sermon series titles and prep and even on occasion lending inspiration to my writing.   As circumstance (or perhaps misfortune) would have it, I was unable to attend this past Sunday when Rick kicked off part one in a Summer Sermon Series:  LOVE IS….  (my added twist —  WALK IN LOVE)

The Team

Actually, I was anything but walking, and especially not in love.   The 5K run that I participated in just the night before (and finished) was memorable and fun!    But, what I would soon come to know as a stress fracture to my left ankle,  left me hobbling/crawling along in terrible pain and grumpy with impatience and  frustration.

1 Corinthians 14:1 paraphrased.   Desire the special abilities the Spirit gives, but let love be your highest goal!

All through the prior week, Rick and I were anticipating and brainstorming about fun ways, creative ways, simple ways, generous ways, obedient ways, and on and on and on ways, to admonish ourselves and others towards “walking in love”.

Now, in a moment of helplessness that was threatening my focus inward to self and to self pity,  I had to make some adjustments.

1 Corinthians 13: 4  Love is patient and kind.

Ouch 

With mobility greatly challenged, and the recliner and ice pack quickly becoming my number 1 companion,  I went on line and listened to Rick’s part one message on this great mandate, “walk in love.”  His  delivery of biblical context and practical application left me both challenged and encouraged.

#1 Even in my compromised state there were countless ways I could walk in love.
Sending an “encouraging note” or a “thinking of you” message  by way of text or phone call.
Speaking kindness. Smiling. Being present and showing thankfulness (instead of taking for granted) EVERYTHING EXTRA Rick was doing to pick up the slack around the house.

#2 We have become so good at “giving” love but what about “receiving” love.  A little more than a week ago our conversation lend itself to how we would walk in love and be a demonstration of being and giving love—not for a minute thinking that God would reveal himself to us through amazing acts of love and kindness in return, as the recipient.

AND

#3 Perhaps today, wasn’t about a “physical action” at all.
Perhaps,  it was first, about choosing  a good attitude, a pure thought, a right heart.
When this happens first, the outflow of true, genuine and tangible demonstrations of “walking in love” are unstoppable.

I am eager for complete healing.  I’m a get-er’ done kind of gal.   I’m a giver.  I’m a doer.   But for today  I will be still.  I will choose a good attitude, a right heart, and  I will learn (all over again) how to be a good receiver.

No we never did complete our “fun, creative, how-to list of ideas” for “walking in love”, rather you continued to write it for us, the amazing friends and family and community that we do life with.
Yes, as much as we teach you, you teach us.  Thank you for your beautiful, sacrificial and heartfelt demonstrations of “walking in love.”  ( some are listed below).

Whether you are giving or receiving, take some time to add to it today, in context of your world and your circle of influence.
Because……1 Corinthians 13: 13  Three things that will endure—-faith, hope, love.  And the greatest of these is love! 

my new hair color  🙂 

  *Receiving countless kind thoughts and prayer messages, via texts, phone messages and mail. (Life is busy, time taken…..matters)
  *Fitness friends making house calls to color my hair

Arm bands and Lip Gloss 

    (a good hair day goes a LONG way)
  *Fitness friends providing  me with tools and disciplines to stay fit and active without using my feet.
  *Prepared meals (from a pastor’s wife and busy mother of 3) that lift the burden and lighten the load.

My Mom’s famous pie 

  *Your Mary Kay Consultant going out of her way to personally hand deliver your order.
(yes, even lip gloss spells love for some of us)                           *Fresh strawberry pie from mom (good for the soul) and even better, sharing it with a neighbor.
*Your co-workers going above and beyond to cover and be there for you.

Little acts of Kindness is all in the greater journey of Walking In Love.  

I can’t wait for the rest of the series….I know it will change us.  ALL OF US!  

Walking (hobbling) in Love, 
Crystal 

A "TURNING 20" BIRTHDAY MESSAGE

A “TURNING 20” BIRTHDAY MESSAGE.

Today marks a very special day!  Our son Matt turns 20.   HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!   I know, I know, turning 20 isn’t like turning 16 or 21, but he, being our last born, marks some significance for a couple of reasons.

 1.  The teenage years have successfully (yes, I said successfully!) been lived out, experienced and closed out.  For the parent who has ever stood at the precipice of the teenage years with that “deer in the headlight look, wondering”, arriving at this place is an accomplishment in its own right and something worth celebrating!   We are so grateful (and blessed) to have raised 2 kids who’ve made the “culturally stereotypical teenage years” a myth.  Oh, it wasn’t a season free from challenges or obstacles (or eye rolling), but it was a season filled with teaching and moments of God’s grace and guidance that were received, respected and built upon.  Positive growth was collaborative, always measurable, and dare I say, even fun at times …. they both made, and continue to make us so very proud.    
 2.  The respectable, hard working, God fearing man Matt is becoming has him poised for the next decade.  One that will most likely bring with it some of the greatest and most dramatic changes in his life. His confident swagger, ambition and motivation, along with the foundation of spiritual truth and personal integrity he possesses, comes with promise of a life being lived to the very fullest.  
Interestingly, 20 years ago:    
The first DVD’s were released in Japan
Nintendo 64 was released
The “Macarena” became a worldwide hit 
Hotmail was launched
The 1st Mission Impossible opened in theaters
The most popular Christmas Toy of ALL time was introduced into the U.S.  (Tickle me Elmo)… Sarah (your big sister) owned one and entertained you with it, often. 
Everybody Loves Raymond, debuted
AND BY FAR, THE MOST IMPORTANT….I BECAME A MOTHER TO MY SON. 
Matt, Sarah and Tyler….our 3 adult children (Tyler, by marriage) at Matt’s
20th Birthday Dinner
It sure isn’t easy to comprehend where time has gone or even to express in a short blog, the magnitude of the sum of all that is wrapped up in the past 20 years….all that has been purposed and accomplished in both his life and mine, but suffice it to say….   
YOU ARE DEEPLY LOVED & CELEBRATED MATT!!   HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
           LOVE  MOM  
                 5/13/16
  

The Cost Of Marriage, And 25 Years A Bride

Perusing through an article on marriage just one week before a milestone Wedding Anniversary, I am challenged with a thought provoking question.

“WHEN YOU THINK OF THE COST OF MARRIAGE, WHAT COMES TO MIND?”  

Sarah and Tyler 2016,  Me and Rick 1991 

Having recently witnessed the marriage celebration of our daughter Sarah and son-in-law, Tyler,  it was easy to quickly recount the budget and the cost (still fresh in my mind) that went into making it a most exquisite event, a near perfect wedding day–I like to say, it was one for the ages! 

Just as quickly as thoughts and happy memories of our daughter’s beautiful wedding day flooded my soul, they faded into the realization that in little more than a week (April 13, 2016) I too would be celebrating happy memories…
25 years a bride.  
Although I remember it as one of the happiest days of my life, I am far removed from the financial details of my own wedding day.  Twenty five years has a way of showing me,  THE COST OF MARRIAGE isn’t about the dollars and cents at all, nor is it really about the happiness, although happiness is a great byproduct.
Rather, what comes to mind has more to do with the giving, the investment, the sacrifice, the commitment and being refined like gold time and time again.  
(Left)engagement picture 1990  and (Right) today 2016
Time may weather our physical bodies but it strengthens our souls

“THE GIVING 

THE INVESTMENT 
THE SACRIFICE 
THE COMMITMENT 
AND BEING REFINED LIKE GOLD  
TIME AND TIME AGAIN”
Standing strong thru the years, started with a shared faith and commitment to walk through whatever we faced together.  It continues with an obedience to God’s Word, not just when it is easy and we feel like it, but also when the days are difficult and we don’t feel like it.  
Our Wedding Day,  April 13, 1991

                                                                  Often times, the cost of marriage means laying down our pride (which can be really ugly at times), and taking up our cross (which can be really painful at times).  It means putting you before me and we before I.  It means admitting our mistakes and falling to our knees in both offering  forgiveness and receiving forgiveness.  It means being intentional about us, through every season, protecting, guarding and keeping watch over that which God has joined together….our marriage relationship, our dreams and our purposes, both as a couple and as individuals.  

Rarely if ever, do we go it alone. There is both cost and great risk to staying transparent and vulnerable. Surrounding ourselves with good couples, family, and friends, means we always have people who are there to cheer and celebrate with us when life is great, but who also don’t hesitate to roll up their sleeves and fight alongside us for our marriage and when times aren’t so great.   
A recent Friday night date. 

Loving together, serving together, making great memories together, sharing the deepest levels of intimacy together, raising a family together, laughing together (we’ve done a lot of laughing), crying together (we’ve done a lot of crying too), facing victory and defeat together, facing triumph and tragedy together, playing together, praying together….we still don’t always get it right,even after 25 years, but we always always invite His Spirit to inhabit every little (and big) detail along the way.

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, THE REAL COST OF MARRIAGE IS GREAT!  

With the helping hands of our Heavenly Father and a deep love and devotion, we count the cost and we pay the price….not just for weddings, but for marriage too.     For it is in doing so,  that we know and experience…

 REAL LOVE
 REAL LIFE
 AND REAL MARRIAGE.

   You and Me Rick Steimling, together forever…..in love, being refined like gold, time and time again, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.         

  Happy 25th Anniversary to the Love of my life!
Crystal

FAREWELLS ARE REALLY EXPRESSIONS OF A JOB WELL DONE

When I reflect upon how life has changed since bringing home my very first newborn, I can’t help but wonder how life will be changed again, in taking my last-born away to college.  

As moving day approaches,  I account for the right size sheets,  enough “white” t-shirts and even a few of his favorite midnight snacks, but most of all, I account for the profound…. His need to find his way is taking a front seat,  I know who he is but not who he will become.  
I am faced with rewriting motherhood as I have known it these past 20 + years.   Oh sure, I will always be his mother, but in the words of Madeline Levine, “Motherhood inextricably weaves growth and loss together from the moment of physical separation at birth to every milestone passed.   Some part of me must have known that each move toward independence–from zipping a jacket to hanging out at the mall to driving a car–meant not only that my son was more capable, but also that I was less necessary.” 
A sense of loss may lurk in the periphery now and again, and yes, the tears may fall when the realization of permanent changes begin to set in, but for now, that farewell moment at the dorm feels more like an expression of a job well done.    

                         

THE PAST, THE PRESENT, THE FUTURE (A Graduation Tribute to My Son)

Pre-K Graduation 2001


In so many ways, SENIOR YEAR for a Mama’s heart is a year of letting go.   Who knew it would be such a complicated mixture of pushing you forward and holding you back?

HERE  AND  NOW….We find ourselves standing at a bittersweet place. In a few short days (Wednesday, June 4th, 2014)  you will be part of a big, beautiful, meaningful ceremony that so poignantly signifies one chapter ending and a new one beginning. 

2014 Senior Year – Black Knights Baseball
LOOKING  BACK….  Underneath all of that fierce love for competition,  there is a tenderhearted and compassionate young man, whose once curly blond hair and blue eyes have given way to great strength and poise. 

Athletics, Fishing & Baseball, 
Bold Faith, A Desire For Truth, 
 Deep Roots and Wings That Soar,
I’ll miss not having anyone to alert me to “must see” You Tube videos and sports clips.
I’ll miss your subtle ways and “one-liners” that speak so loudly of God’s goodness and proper perspective.  You have such a gift that way.
2000  Matt making his own backstop (with chicken wire) 









I’ll especially miss not having my “new word” connoisseur around to keep the Steimling household vocabulary fresh, quirky and innovative.

Travel baseball 2008

There have been moments of wonder and surprise.  There have been moments of being side lined, and unexpected bends in the road.  Each chapter being scripted by God in all of his knowing—the painful ones draw us near to him, the joyful ones illuminate his glory—both are important.

LOOKING FORWARD ……….. The spaces in our house will surely feel empty, but so many spaces in this vast world await you and your purposes.  I pray every day, the gift of clear-sightedness upon you, to recognize the path that supports (and doesn’t compromise) your faith and values.  The sacred trust we have invested well into your life has surely been a two way street.  There is a saying that goes, “As much as a mother raises her son, so does a son raise his mother.” The return on the investment is truly immeasurable.  Thank You, for the genuine joy you bring to life……… and making  us so incredibly proud. 

I LOVE YOU, MY BOY!  NOW THE WORLD AWAITS,

ALL THAT YOU ARE AND WHO YOU ARE BECOMING.
(graduation day pics coming soon) 


Always and Forever

MOM

THE POWER OF MOM

As taken from Rick’s sermon today…..THE POWER OF MOM
Moses’ mother Jochebed had the power of TRUST.
Samuel’s mother Hannah had the power of PRAYER.
Timothy’s mother Eunice had the power of INFLUENCE.
Jesus’ mother Mary had the power of SURRENDER.

What a gift, to witness so many beautiful and heartfelt expressions of gratitude and love to mothers from all walks of life today.


3 generations–my daughter, my mom and me

Thankful for my mom who has always embodied TRUST, PRAYER, INFLUENCE and SURRENDER, on her journey.   It’s because of her example that I can, with confidence walk with these same attributes on my own journey of motherhood.  
   
                                            My sister Angie, my mom and me. 
Thankful for ALL the amazing women and friends and moms that enrich my life.  (I wish I had enough room to put all of their pictures on here)
        Sarah, Me and Matt 
THE POWER OF MOM……………………………TRUST, PRAYER, INFLUENCE and SURRENDER  a legacy to me—-a legacy to them!  

Happy Mother’s Day
Crystal

INTENTIONAL PARENTING

When I picked up the book Intentional Parenting, it was for a two fold purpose.   To learn, and to be affirmed.   As I read and absorbed and pondered, I did learn, and I was affirmed.   Parenting isn’t just about the children, but about the parents too.  Three writers coming together, bringing with them their honesty, their invaluable experience as counselors, social workers and executive directors, and leaving the reader with 12 powerful attributes that go hand in hand with what it means to be intentional as parents and yes, as individuals.   Have you ever stopped to consider what parenting would do to you, in you and through you?
Homes and families don’t just happen!  We must be INTENTIONAL!   To continue learning through all the stages of parenting, and even finding affirmation in the stages you’ve already walked through,  pick up your copy today…..and then pass it on to a friend (parent).